by Vicky Norman, Vicky's Mum and Vicky's Gran
I
thought it would be interesting to compare the birth experiences of three
generations of my family (my grandmother, mother and myself). As the births are separated by fifty years, I
expected differences, but I didn’t expect so many similarities (especially the
births experienced by me and my Grandmother).
Here are our stories......
Daniel’s
Birth Story, 2006, by Vicky Norman
I had hoped that I would be one of those women that blossomed in
pregnancy and breezed through the whole thing.
Unfortunately that wasn’t to be (two bleeds, a stay in hospital, twenty
weeks of sickness, Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) and severe indigestion)
but I held out hope that I would be rewarded with an easy birth. At my final antenatal appointment before my
due date, my baby’s head had not engaged so it was no surprise when my due date
(13 July) came and went without a twinge.
I desperately wanted a water birth, so with an induction at forty two
weeks looming, I spent the next week eating hot curry and pineapple (not the
best when you have indigestion) and walking for miles.
On 22 July, we were
dozing on the sofa when something woke me.
Was that a contraction? Fifteen
minutes later, I felt it again and by the third time, at 7.30pm, I knew I was
in labour. We ordered pizza and sat in
the garden, excitedly talking about what was to come. At about 11pm, we decided to get some
sleep. Lying down turned the
contractions from uncomfortable to slightly painful so we got out of bed and
strapped the TENS machine onto my back.
Back to bed and this
time I last twenty minutes.
I
was desperate for sleep but lying down made my back hurt too much so I spent
the next five hours alternating between bouncing on my birthing ball and being
slumped over it, trying to sleep. David, of course, slept through all of
this. By 5am,
this was no longer working so David ran a bath for me. I regretted
it as soon as I got in.
The pain was mostly in my back and I needed to move about but the bath
was too restricting. To make things
worse, my groaning had attracted the attention of our cat who jumped onto the
side of the bath, lost her footing and landed on me. I now had three, six inch long scratches down
my inner thigh, just what you need when preparing for a group of strangers to
become acquainted with your more intimate parts! However my contractions were now three
minutes apart so, between contractions, we got ready and set off for the
hospital.
At the hospital, I
was disappointed to find out I was only 3cms dilated but at least they weren’t
going to send me home. There was a
birthing pool available and I was shown to a large and airy room with a huge
pool. When I got into the pool the
relief was immediate and nothing was getting me out of the pool until it was
all over (or so I thought)!
By 11am, the frequency and length of the contractions were increasing
and although still manageable, the midwife suggested entonox. This worked well but at 12.30pm I suddenly
decided I couldn’t do it anymore. The
midwife, recognizing this as a sign of transition, confirmed I was 10cm dilated
and I could start pushing shortly.
Pushing was a relief
and my body instinctively knew what to do.
I found making noise a huge help.
I do feel sorry for those nearby as the noise I was making must have
made it sound much worse than it was. I pushed
for the next ninety minutes and at some point my waters broke but there was
still no sign of my baby. My
contractions became less regular and the midwife suggested getting out of the
pool and trying a different position (sitting on the loo)!
By now my
contractions had almost stopped and I was subsequently hooked up to a drip to
restart my contractions and my baby was continuously monitored. I was now stuck
on a bed - exactly what I didn’t want, but to be honest, I no longer minded.
The doctor was called
and confirmed that the baby hadn’t descended and was actually positioned back
to back. So that was why I had been
feeling the pains in my back. The
registrar tried to manually rotate my baby via an internal examination and even
with a shot of pethadine, this was by far the worst part of my labour.
Unfortunately, it didn’t work. The
foetal monitor showed the baby’s heart rate was dipping on each contraction (a
sign that he could be in distress), so we agreed to an assisted birth.
Suddenly, the
previously quiet room became a hive of activity. The drip was turned to its highest setting
resulting in contractions coming one after another, a ventouse was attached to
the baby’s head and I was given a local anaesthetic and an episiotomy. Five more pushes and our baby arrived at
2.48pm. I think we were both in shock
when this tiny person, covered in blood and gunk was placed on my chest,
completely oblivious to the events of the last thirty minutes.
After nine months
(and ten days) of pregnancy and almost twenty hours of labour, it was amazing
to finally meet our son. It is clichéd,
but the love we felt for Daniel was immediate, as though he had been part of
our lives forever. As planned, David cut
the cord but I don’t recall birthing the placenta or being stitched as I was so
focused on my amazing baby. The midwives
left us alone and that first hour, bonding as a family, will stay with me
forever.
Victoria’s
Birth Story, 1974, by Lynn Campbell
I had suspected I was pregnant for a while but a visit to the doctor at
ten weeks confirmed my suspicions.
Following my GP appointment, I received a generous gift from a kind aunt
who paid for private antenatal care. From then on, my antenatal appointments
were with Sunderland’s leading consultant, whose consulting rooms were at his
house (something that wouldn’t happen now)!
Fortunately I had a very easy pregnancy with no unpleasant
symptoms. There were no scans or tests
for abnormalities, so the only reassurance was from an occasional internal
examination and from hearing the baby’s heartbeat. As the weeks went on, our feelings of
excitement increased and I, alongside several members of my family, spent many
hours knitting baby clothes.
I had an antenatal appointment on my due date but there were no signs of
me going into labour naturally. The
consultant’s plan was that I would be induced in two days and it didn’t occur
to me to question this! That evening, I
headed to Roker docks with my parents to wave my younger sister off on a school
cruise. Whilst standing at the dockside,
my waters broke and contractions started immediately. We walked home, contacted the hospital and
were asked to come in straight away.
I arrived at the
hospital at 8pm and after being examined, I was told that it wouldn’t be too
long. My husband arrived and whilst
fathers weren’t discouraged from attending the birth, they certainly weren’t
encouraged. During my labour, my mam and
husband popped in from time to time, but both were absent at the birth. There was no discussion about trying
different positions for labour and birth and it was assumed that I would remain
on the bed the whole time.
As
my labour quickly progressed, I was offered pain
relief and gladly accepted entonox and pethadine which certainly
took the edge off the contractions. The
midwives called the consultant at home and whilst he attended the birth, it was
very much led by the midwives.
Finally after only five hours of labour I gave birth to a beautiful baby
girl called Victoria Jane at 12.10am on 25 June with the help of one midwife
and the consultant. I had suspected I
was having a girl so was thrilled when this was finally confirmed. I had a very
straightforward birth and fortunately required no intervention and no
stitches. My husband and mam were
immediately shown into the delivery suite and my dad joined us shortly
after. As it was during the night we
spent an hour together before my visitors were asked to leave and we were
settled into a private room.
It was quite unusual to have a private room and also unusual for a
newborn to stay with their mam overnight.
Despite being exhausted, I spent the night gazing at my newborn baby as
I couldn’t quite believe she was finally here.
It was also assumed that I would bottle feed my daughter and the
hospital provided bottles, formula etc.
Breast feeding was never discussed and it certainly wasn’t promoted in
the way it is now.
At that time, it was
usual to stay in hospital for five days post birth, but as we had no
complications, we were discharged after thirty-six hours. It was exciting and a
little nerve-racking taking our daughter home, but we had such incredible
support from family and friends and were never without visitors.
Lynn’s
Birth Story, 1957, by Doreen MacDonald
We were
delighted when my doctor confirmed I was pregnant as we had just
started trying to conceive.
My
pregnancy progressed well and I felt fit and
healthy, however at the end of my first trimester, I became very ill and was
rushed to hospital. Initially
the doctors suspected an ectopic pregnancy but quickly realized it was
appendicitis. Despite
being pregnant, I was taken to surgery, put under a general anesthetic and my
appendix was safely removed.
I
was later told I was very lucky that I didn’t miscarry.
Fortunately
the rest of my pregnancy continued without drama and I worked up until my due
date. As the
only female in the office, I was well looked after. Three
days over my due date I went into labour in the early hours of Easter Sunday.
We didn’t have a car or telephone so my husband, Ronnie, called an ambulance
to take us to hospital from a neighbour’s house.
On arrival at the hospital, Ronnie was shown to the waiting room and I
didn’t see him again until after I had given birth. As it was Easter Sunday,
the hospital was short staffed so I spent much of my labour on my own with the
midwives checking in occasionally. The
midwives were very stern and did little to relax or comfort me, and unlike
today’s births, I was given little information about what was happening.
Unfortunately, there were complications and after sixteen hours of
labour I found myself being wheeled into theatre for an assisted delivery. Even after fifty-five years I have very clear
memories of my legs being strapped into stirrups and my baby girl, Lynn, being
delivered by forceps. Unfortunately,
worse was to come. The doctor was
concerned that Lynn may have suffered head injuries during the delivery so she
was taken to special care for two days.
Not being able to hold, or even see our newborn was one of the worst
times of our lives, as was being on the ward where all of the other mums had
their babies with them.
After two days in
special care, the doctors were happy that Lynn was injury free and we finally
got to meet our beautiful daughter. I
was desperate to return home so we could start being a family, but back then a
ten day hospital stay was the norm. When
I was discharged, I vowed that if I had another child I would opt for a home
birth. Two years later I got my wish
when Ann was born at home.
Writing
this article has been extremely fulfilling as I previously knew little about my
own birth and that of my mother. Just like my grandmother, I too decided on a
home birth for my second child following a medicalised first delivery. My grandmother was very supportive of our
decision for a home birth and now I understand why!
