Evolutionary theory on why babies wake their mothers in the night

A leading evolutionary biologist has put forward the theory that an infant’s tendency to wake up in the night may have been a Darwinian tactic to make mothers breastfeed more, thus reducing their fertility and limiting the number of siblings that will be born, which in turn improved a child’s chances of survival.

Breastfeeding acts as a natural contraceptive during the first six months after birth, stopping women from menstruating. Encouraging the effect would have been beneficial for our ancestors, because the fewer siblings one had, the more competition there would be for scarce resources, and the lower the risk of infectious disease spreading, argues Professor David Haig, of Harvard University.

Read more: Babies evolved to wake new mothers in the middle of the night as a survival tactic, claims Harvard biologist The Independent 10/4/14

Branch Events October 2013

Bumps, Babies and Beyond

Friday 4th  10 - 11.30am

Methodist Church Hall
Chapel Street
Ely
(Map)
FREE ENTRY including refreshments and home-made cakes.


SPECIAL GUEST: We are going to be having a special guest in each month who provides a children's service or activity in the area. This month there will be a free baby massage taster session suitable from birth up to about 6 months. This will be at 10.30am. 

The usual toys and craft activities will be available for babies and toddlers. Breastfeeding and bottle feeding welcome. Parking available in St Mary's Street car park. Entrance to the church hall is through the blue gate at the back of the car park.

Open Houses

Friday 11th 2.30-4pm

At Nancy's house in Aldreth

Monday 14th 10am - 12 noon

At Mags' house in Ely

Thursday 17th 1-2.30pm

At Sian's house in Soham

Friday 25th 1-2.30pm

At Maxine's house in Soham

NCT NEARLY NEW SALE (Ely Community College), Saturday 19th October 10.30am-12.30pm

The cost of kitting out your child for the first five years can run into thousands of pounds. NCT Nearly New Sales are the perfect solution, offering affordable essentials and accessories for you and your family, while fundraising to support other parents in the UK. At our Nearly New Sales, you can pick up nearly new baby and children's clothes, toys and equipment at around a quarter to a third of the price you would pay on the high street. And for your peace of mind, every item is quality and safety checked to NCT's exacting standards by our dedicated local volunteers. If you are an NCT Member, you can get in 15 minutes early to view and snap up the excellent bargains on offer!

http://www.elysmalltalk.co.uk/2013/09/our-next-nearly-new-sale-is-fast_18.html

For more info about open house locations see our facebook page or join our facebook group. Alternatively call 0844 2436175 or email ely_nct@yahoo.co.uk.

Branch Events July 2013

Bumps, Babies and Beyond

Friday 5th 10 - 11.30am

Methodist Church Hall
Chapel Street
Ely
(Map)
FREE ENTRY including refreshments and home-made cakes.

School age children are also welcome and craft activities will be available to all however, this group is mainly for parents with children under 5. There will be a breastfeeding counsellor available to talk to about any feeding issues. Parking available in St Mary's Street car park. Entrance to the church hall is through the blue gate at the back of the car park.

Open Houses

Monday 8th 10am-12 noon

At Mags' house in Ely

Monday 15th 10am - 12 noon

At Lorraine's house in Ely

Friday 26th 10am-12 noon

At Emma's house in Ely

Tuesday 30th time tbc

At Nancy's house in Aldreth

For more info about open house locations see our facebook page or join our facebook group. Alternatively call 0844 2436175 or email ely_nct@yahoo.co.uk.

Shortage of midwives means some women get more postnatal visits than others

Almost two-thirds of new mothers feel let down by the NHS after giving birth, according to a report. In some places women get three postnatal visits at home, while in neighbouring areas new mothers will see a midwife just once. The report from the National Federation of Women’s Institutes and NCT said the vast majority of maternity units are having to cope with shortages of midwives.
Belinda Phipps, chief executive of the NCT, said ‘We are extremely concerned about the shockingly high number of women who have been let down by their maternity care.
‘It is equally worrying to see that the level of care given to parents varies so significantly by postcode.’
Cathy Warwick, chief executive of the Royal College of Midwives, said ‘We are 5000 midwives short in England. Without enough midwives to cope with the increasing demands on maternity services I fear that we will not see the situation depicted in this report improving.
‘Postnatal care has been an area of concern for some time. This is a vitally important period for women who need support, guidance and advice when they return home after giving birth. Too often resources are taken away from this key area leading to fewer visits by midwives and less contact with them for women."
2 May 2013 The Daily Mail

A deal too good to be true?

This article was written by an NCT member in Southampton detailing a story about a scam that he and his wife were subjected to whilst buying baby kit called, 'A deal too good to be true'.

Like many first time parents, my wife and I took an early decision that we would shop around in the used and second hand market for many of the essentials for our baby. Brand new items can cost many hundreds of pounds and with some careful looking around on online auction sites, free-ads and also at NCT nearly new sales items can be bought in excellent condition for half or less than the shop bought prices. As we prepared for our new arrival we managed to save hundreds of pounds on key items such as prams, breast feeding chairs and clothes most of which showed very little if any sign of use. We supplemented our purchases with the brand new essentials such as mattresses, bedding and feeding equipment.

All seemed well and we were very happy with our purchases and the savings until we had an unfortunate experience whilst trying to buy a bedside crib. We spotted an advert for the crib we wanted at a price close to a third of the retail price and in excellent condition. We immediately communicated with the vendor, (who seemed a pleasant and helpful lady) by email and text message to arrange to purchase and pick it up.

It was arranged that the crib would be delivered by a well know courier and that we would need to arrange payment direct to them. The courier would deliver the crib for our inspection at which stage if we were happy they would arrange for our money to be sent to the vendor. In order to send the money to the courier we were advised to purchase a UKASH voucher, available in many shops and convenience stores for the agreed amount and asked to send the voucher code to the courier. Although a little suspicious, because we had purchased the voucher from a reputable chain of convenience stores and believed we were dealing with a “well known courier” we went ahead with the transaction and sent the voucher code off by email as directed.

A day passed after the expected delivery date and no courier ever called and no parcel arrived. We became suspicious and looked up UKASH vouchers on the internet. To our horror there were endless articles on money saving websites and forums warning that the same thing happening many times over to unsuspecting victims after responding free-ads and online sales forums. It quickly dawned on us that we had been conned. The courier and vendor were in fact the same person or persons unknown and our money was gone.

I contacted the Police, the free-ad website and others to detail our experience and sadly it is a well know type of fraud, having even appeared on TV’s Watchdog. The Police advised that the mobile numbers and email addresses were untraceable and that the perpetrators were more than likely overseas spending our hard earned baby fund.

My wife (who is 37 weeks pregnant at the time of writing) was devastated that we had lost the money and that someone could deliberately target pregnant mothers or expectant parents in such a cruel and calculating manner. All we can do is put it down to a life lesson hard learned and to draw attention to our experience so that others can try to avoid falling into the same trap.

The message here is simple, if a deal seems too good to be true, it probably is… and if you are looking at buying used and nearly new items make sure to buy and pay for items face-to-face when you have actually seen what you are buying. There are great deals and savings to be made, but buyer beware and please don’t join us as just another UK crime statistic.

We have now managed to buy a crib, we are delighted with it and are eagerly awaiting the arrival of our baby boy in 3-4 weeks time.

Remember, if you're looking for baby bargains, a great place to go is our local NCT Nearly New Sale. These take place twice a year. For details of our sales, see our events page http://elynct.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Events

 

1,120 new babies in East Cambridgeshire in 2011

In October, the Office for National Statistics (ONS) released its annual statistics on births in England and Wales.

1,120 live births to East Cambridgeshire mums

Last year, there were 1,120 live births to women living in East Cambridgeshire. Congratulations if you were one of these mums! 

Across the whole of Cambridgeshire and Peterborough, there were over 10,600 live births. Almost half of these babies were born to women living in the north east of the county (Huntingdonshire and Peterborough).

Rapid increase in number of babies in Cambridgeshire

Over the past five years, the number of babies born to mums living in Cambridgeshire and Peterborough has risen by 14.8 per cent - higher than the national average increase of 8.1 per cent.

Across Cambridgeshire, the biggest increase has been in East Cambridgeshire - a large increase of 22.3 per cent.

Across England and Wales, there have been a number of continuing trends

• The average age of women giving birth continued to rise. In 2011, the average age was 29.7 - the highest since records began in 1938;
• The percentage of births occurring outside of marriage reached a new record high (47.2 per cent). This has increased rapidly since the 1980s;
• At 25.5 per cent, the percentage of babies born to non-UK born women also broke a new record, with a strong increase since the late-1990s.

Defying trends, the fertility rate (the average number of children per women) fell in 2011 to 1.93, from 2.00 in 2010. This was the lowest rate since 2007 but remained higher than most of the 70s, 80s, 90s and early 2000s.

More information can be found on the ONS website

Debate: Do you find parenting hard or easy?

from the NCT editors yahoo group database

Parenting undoubtedly has its ups and downs. Parents have told us which aspects of parenting they struggle with and the things that they have found most rewarding. What have you found the hardest and easiest aspects of parenting? Let us know by commenting at the end of this article.

Hard!

I found the first few weeks really hard. I expected to fall in love with my baby at first sight and it just didn't happen. We got there eventually, but everything, the sleeplessness, breastfeeding, what to do with a newborn, was difficult. On the positive side, second time round I did fall in love at first sight!

I've just had my second baby and I remember very clearly the same time with my daughter (now 2).  It's so different this time.  With my daughter I hated the first 2 months, I didn't like her or what she'd done to me or my life. I remember crying my eyes out the first day my husband went back to work as I couldn't stop her crying and we went for a walk and I was frozen. I took to walking around shopping centres after that. I think it can be quite a lonely time, especially with winter babies.  I've met loads of mums since who have been desperate to go back to work at 3 months, but then when they get to 6 months take the rest of the year off! Anyway, my new little one is a star!

I personally found the newborn phase absolutely horrendous. I hated every minute of it and was just counting down the days until that magic 12 week point. I was on the verge of walking out the front door many times. Unfortunately, as my baby had an intolerance that we were still trying to diagnose and treat effectively, the 8 hours minimum of screaming a day just went on and on until almost 16 weeks. I never expected having a baby to be simple or for it to feel like I had finally found my calling, and I believe that this (along with some amazing NCT friends) got me through it without having a breakdown of some sort.

The hardest thing for me was when I had my second son. My first born was bright, eager to please, loving and popular. My second really struggled at school and his frustrations were often taken out on me - he would scream insults at me, refuse to let me cuddle him or tell him how much I loved him, hit out at other children and generally made it very difficult to like him. I felt like a really bad mother especially when you read so many articles about 'perfect parents and children'! Happily, he is now a lot happier and has made some good friends and seems to quite like me too now, although not all the time of course!

I once heard someone say that if you find parenting easy, you’re not doing it properly. I think the overwhelming sense of responsibility we feel every second of every day can be hard. The challenge as a hitherto calm and quiet-natured woman of dealing with an exceptionally strong-willed and energetic son – of keeping up with his relentless quest to test the strength and resilience of everything from the sofa to my patience! The shock of discovering just how hard it is to care for two children when the second arrives – two hands/arms are never enough…

Here are a couple of things I found hard:
Breastfeeding was extremely painful on my nipples for at least the first eight weeks. I tried everything, nipple shields, Kamilosan, Lansinoh, repositioning with a lot of advice from midwives and breastfeeding counsellors and nothing seemed to help. In the end it was just a matter of perseverance and maybe letting my boobs 'air' a little (and using no breast pads) that helped!
Social life. I found it really hard to make proper friends. There are loads of groups around and I've been to several but it takes so long to get to know anyone, or feel like I have a group of friends with babies the same age. For the first 9 months my baby was always the youngest in the groups I went to.

I have never been as tired as I have since having children.  Despite working as a teacher for 12 years before starting my family I had never felt more stressed, tired, trapped and infuriated as I have at times over the last 7 years.  The sheer unending nature of parenting makes it truly the hardest task in the world, with no ‘weekend’ and no let up in the responsibility one has to have. At least at work we get weekends, holidays and time out to recharge batteries and take a breather. Having a supportive partner who can give ‘time out’ or take some of the tasks on makes life much easier, but nevertheless our relationship is often tested as we try to juggle all the demands of working, running a home, and bringing up our children.

Here are a few things I found it tough...my lows.
Not having family nearby. Lots of friends had grandparents who came to visit and let them have an afternoon out/off. We had no-one within 100 miles. Felt like no escape at times....      
Feeling tired all day but then strangely unable to nod off to sleep at night as my head was whizzing with baby things. I'd just be nodding off to sleep when the baby would wake up. Typical!
Having a neighbour with 3 kids under 3 who makes it look easy to be a mum. I struggled with one!
Having a husband who, although I know does really appreciate what I do, still thinks it's funny to make out that all I do is drink tea all day and play....grrrr.
Having anything in common with old friends. If they haven't had kids then it's easy to lack things in common and find yourself talking about baby things and baby friends.

I wouldn’t change having children for the world, but if I am honest, I feel as if I have sold my soul at times. It’s all about the children; rarely do I focus on me or my needs. The hard times seem to outweigh the easy times. I am hoping this eases as they get older and it’s not all so intense.

The hardest thing I have found is the emotions that get stirred up in me since having a child. When my son is misbehaving I get angry very quickly (something I didn't experience before) though I do manage to control it.

Easy!

Things I love about parenting? Oh yes, no problem! Ten months into motherhood I have never smiled or laughed so much in my life. I spend so much time being silly and trying to get my daughter to chuckle at me because when she does, it is the best sound in the world! Although it's hard work being in each others' pockets all the time (I've given up work to look after her for a bit), it is far more rewarding than any job I've done so far and having her is definitely my finest achievement!

I love the way my daughter is constantly changing. Each time she does something new, no matter how mischievous, it amazes me. From the first smile, to pretending that the TV remote is a telephone or learning to climb on the sofa or throw sand out of the sand pit, each day is full of firsts.

I love the way that children allow you to be so sociable. Having a child is a great way to start conversations, whether in shops, at bus stops or on holidays. I find it really hard now going on the bus without my little girl as I miss the way she smiles at everyone and breaks that unwritten rule that people don't talk to strangers on the bus.

I lived in my current house for 3 years before my daughter came along. All my friends were living in other areas and I didn't really know anyone locally. Now, I can't get round my local shops or park without bumping into someone I know, a great way to feel like I really belong to my local community.

My son was not a planned baby, but he is such a blessing and has completely changed my life. Yes I might spend half my life telling him 'no' or 'stop' but instead of working full time and falling asleep on the sofa before I’ve had time to make any tea, I now have a job which I love, where I only need to work 16 hours, I get to socialise with other mums during the week, and I have time to cook with a little helper.

I find them liberating, for example they're more important than housework, and with tiny children there's a good excuse not to travel for miles to see relations; they come to us instead.

I like the way that they enable us to see the world in a new and better light. For example when we take a pile of junk to school for the Making Box, and I think 'phew, a nice tidy house', merely a few hours later we're saying 'Wow, a space rocket!!'

Name one thing that you would recommend for a parent-to-be

Although I am sure we will all miss our old printed magazine, there are lots of advantages to moving to the online version. As well as saving us heaps of money in printing and distribution costs, the online version also provides an archive of all our content which can be easily searched for using the search function (towards the top right). It also allows all the readers to contribute their own knowledge and experiences, making for a far richer resource that parents and parents-to-be can tap into.

You can comment on any post by clicking on the comment section at the bottom of that post. You do have to have a name (but it can be a pseudonym if you prefer). We would love everyone to contribute.

To get things started, I thought we could create a post that helps new parents to decide what they really need. I remember being totally overwhelmed by my first visit to a large baby store at all the things available. I didn't realise there were so many things you could possibly buy. I had been living in the desert for 10 years and had never seen 50% of what is available here.

One thing that we had for Arthur that I would absolutely never be without was the hammock. I had seen several friends using these down under. There are a couple of different types, but I ended up going for this one by Moffi, New Zealand.

It's really portable so my baby could be where ever I was. I had a hook in my bedroom, one in the nursery (but never used it) and one in the lounge. There is also 'love handle' which enables you to attach it to any door frame, so perfect for visiting and holidays. It's on a spring, so you can gently bounce your baby to sleep. Also as your baby moves, he rocks himself back to sleep. Baby sleeps with his head slightly higher than his feet too, which was great for Arthur as he had reflux. It also keeps the baby sleeping on his back, but without the risk of developing flat head syndrome.

I did co-sleep with Arthur at night most of the time, and had the hook in my room over my bed. This meant that I could put him to bed before I went myself, knowing he was safe, but when I got into bed he was right there and I never had to 'get up' in the night.

It was brilliant. The only problem we had with it was getting Arthur out of it when he grew too big for it and had to transfer to cot (this was when he was about 9kg and starting to pull himself up). I would totally recommend this to anyone thinking about how and where their baby is going to sleep and would be happy to answer any questions people may have.

So, what was if for you? 

Help us build our online resource for parents and parents-to-be by commenting on this post, telling us about one thing you wouldn't have been without and why.