by Anon
As my son neared the big number 2 (years
old, that is), various older female relatives started muttering about babies
being clean by 16 months in their day, etc etc.
With a young baby as well, I was as keen as they were to have only one
bottom in nappies, but pretty daunted at how I was going to manage the
transition. However many ‘signs’ your
child is showing of readiness for potty training, I still think it’s worth
waiting until you’re ready too. The
mental strain of appearing relaxed and positive whilst clearing up a crappy
floor – again – or the extra machine-load of washing is hard if you haven’t got
the time or the energy.
We started by mistake. Realising I’d run
out of paper nappies one day, I tried and failed to interest my son in a cloth
nappy, so pants were the only alternative.
It’s worth buying ones that are attractive to toddlers (his are nifty
racing cars!), although I think hoping they’ll be motivated to keep them clean
is a bridge too far.
It’s definitely an idea to stick close to
home for the first few days. We didn’t
as we started by mistake, and that definitely delayed us getting into
the swing. We spent a day or so with me
constantly asking my son to sit on the potty, then another day or two with me
constantly asking him whether he needed to wee / poo. He found the latter quite stressful, and once
I’d been able to suss out his pattern, things definitely eased, as I felt I
didn’t need to ask as much. He’s blessed
with a bladder of steel, so doesn’t actually need to go as much as I thought he
would. Having time to observe also means
you can tell the signs they need to go (like a classic grabbing at the vital
area!).
Training over the summer helped (as did
wood floors), although I would definitely still put pants on rather than running
naked so they have a sense of being wet / dirty and can learn from it.
Don’t
Start Cold
Once the signs are there, make sure you
prepare the ground. Naturally private
people in this area, my husband and I had to steel ourselves for lots of chats
about weeing and pooing, plus my son’s enquiring looks down the pan and helpful
comparisons with our previous efforts, and little mini-me sessions where he sat
on the potty next to one of us on the loo.
It’s worth making sure you agree what
you’re going to call things, and dropping into conversation that some people
use different words – my son was a bit confused that he weed but his cousins
peed, which I probably should have thought of beforehand. That said, using older relatives and friends
as demonstrators (assuming they’re amenable) really helped to make using the
potty or the loo seem more attractive.
Accentuate
the Positive
Once you start, the main thing is to encourage,
encourage, encourage all the way.
If they wee or poo themselves - and they will - it’s no big deal but tell
them that they should tell you they need the potty next time (if you’re going
out, always take spare clothes and a carrier bag to put the wet ones in).
If they do it in the right place – and they
will! – clapping, cheering, big ‘clever boy’s, without going completely over
the top, is in order. It felt ridiculous to me to be so upbeat about bodily
functions, but it’s worth it. One friend’s son has different words for
different shapes / types of poo – charming, but at least he’s into it. On the ‘too much detail’ note, it’s worth
reminding boys to make sure their willy is pointing down to avoid getting
sprayed!
Big
Potty / Little Potty
People have mixed opinions about whether to
use a potty or the loo – the potty is handy but you then have to transfer, while
the loo is the ultimate destination but can be quite big and frightening to
some toddlers. I’d say you can’t go straight for the loo. If you can, at least
one potty per floor is essential – we had a few accidents while I was legging
it in from the garden to retrieve the pot. I would say also that the toilet is,
in my opinion, worth encouraging as soon as possible for poos, which I find
utterly repulsive in a potty. We started
with the potty and have progressed quite naturally to the loo, with trainer
seat and step, although not yet standing up to wee (I’m hoping for some
man-to-man advice from my husband when my son is tall enough to reach).
On
the Move
You will, I assume, have to leave the house
at some point, possibly for long-ish car or buggy journeys. Toddlers can’t go ‘just in case’, so it’s a
case of ‘have potty, will travel’. Our boy entertained (or possibly offended)
the queue for a ferry to Swanage this summer by making himself comfy on the
potty his dad had whisked out of the boot. You can buy special travel potties,
and you can also get special absorbent mats that sit between them and the car
or buggy seat. And again, don’t forget
the change of clothes.
Backsliding
Even after you’ve broken the back of it,
you still need to remember that change of clothes – most toddlers consider
stopping for the loo too boring if they’re having a fantastic time playing with
friends, or can’t quite make it to the loo in time. Watching for signs, or getting friends to, is
helpful, or gentle reminders. Also be
prepared to be laid back when they’re tired, poorly, or just being bloody-minded
– friends had to move their naughty step to somewhere non-carpeted after their
son had taken his revenge a few too many times!
Equally, my son (and I’m sure, other
children) often develops an urgent desire to wee just as he’s getting into bed,
and can sit on the loo for ages with nothing happening (sometimes, I’m bound to
admit, taking the opportunity to have a good old fiddle – probably a subject
for a whole other article). Having said
that, he’s also woken in the early morning a few times, presumably coming into
a lighter sleep, wanting to use the loo.
You’re unleashing a monster and you just can’t control it…
Night
Time Dryness
We haven’t got to this yet – I gather
around 3 is the average age, and waiting until he’s had some nights waking up
with a dry nappy the best approach.
Plastic sheets are a must, I imagine.
And Finally…
In my limited experience, assuming they’re
ready, it doesn’t actually take children very long to crack this potty-training
lark. It seems a long time when you’re
measuring it in wet pants, but it’s worth persevering for a few days to see the
tide change. And I think it’s worth
really going for it – once you’ve taken the plunge, putting your child back in
nappies for journeys etc, tempting though it may be, just confuses them and
delays the transition.
Potty training isn’t a panacea – after the accidents
are mostly over, you’ll still spend quite a while carrying a potty or a loo
seat around with you, and mentally working out where the next or nearest
bathroom is. Discretion also goes out of
the window, and you’ll need to start the tricky business of teaching your child
the etiquette of polite conversation. In
church last week, my son and I made a swift exit and on return he loudly informed
the congregation that “I done a big wee and mummy done a big wee too.” Ho hum…
Signs of readiness
He knows he’s done / about to do a wee or a
poo and can tell you.
He’s happy to sit on the potty / loo,
whether he uses it or not.
He's actually using the potty / loo at least
some of the times he’s on it.
Some people think being able to pull his
pants / trousers down, but I think this can come later.
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