Budget 2013: What's in it for children and families?

by Hannah Lazarus

Yesterday's Budget gave a clear message that the Government wants parents to work. The main policy initiative for families was the introduction of a new ‘Tax-Free Childcare Scheme’ for working families.

Tax-Free Childcare Scheme

From Autumn 2015, the Government will provide 20 per cent of the childcare costs of working families, up to £1,200 per child.

This is equivalent to basic rate tax relief on childcare costs up to £6,000 a year.

Families will be able to open an online voucher account and have their payments ‘topped up’ by the Government. For every 80p they pay in the Government will put in 20p up to an annual limit per child – so the equivalent of the basic rate of income tax.

                                                     

To qualify, all parents living in the household must be working, not receiving tax credits or Universal Credit, and neither earning over £150,000.

The Government will phase out the current ‘Employer Supported Childcare’ system. Existing members of this scheme will be able to choose whether to remain on their current scheme or move to the new scheme (if they are eligible).

The tax exemption available for workplace nurseries will remain.

The new system will be phased in from autumn 2015. From the first year of operation, all children under five will be eligible. Disabled children up to age 16 will also be eligible. The scheme will then build up over time to include children under 12.

The Government will consult shortly on the detailed design and operation of the Tax-Free

Childcare Scheme

How does this differ from the current childcare voucher system?

Under the current Employer Supported Childcare (ESC) system, the Government allows a tax exemption on childcare vouchers. The scheme is only available to around 500,000 families and fewer than 5% of businesses choose to offer it.

The Tax-Free Childcare Scheme offers support to more parents than the ESC. ESC will begin to be phased out when the new voucher system is introduced.

Anyone receiving support through ESC will be able to stay in that scheme if they want to, but it will be replaced for new entrants by the tax-free childcare vouchers when they are launched.

Tax-Free Childcare Scheme	Employer Supported Childcare
1.3 million families with children under 5 (rising to up to 2.5 million families when children under 12 are included)	500,000 families
Available to all eligible families	Relies on employers choosing to offer the scheme
Includes self-employed people	Doesn’t include the self-employed
Pays up to £1,200 per child	Pays up to £900 for each parent regardless of how many children they have
Provides support for children under 5, expanding to under 12′s in the future	Provides support for children up to 15 years old
Provides support for families where all parents are working	Provides support for families where at least one parent works

Childcare support for those qualifying for Universal Credit

The Government also announced that it is to increase assistance for parents who receive childcare support through Universal Credit, which in due course will replace tax credits.

An additional £200 million will be provided to increase childcare support in Universal Credit. This is equivalent to covering 85 per cent of childcare costs for households qualifying for the Universal Credit childcare element (where either a lone parent or both parents in a couple pay income tax).

The aim is to improve work incentives and make it worthwhile for low and middle income earners to work up to full-time hours.

This additional £200 million is planned to be phased in from April 2016.

Free early education and childcare

(not a Budget measure but referred to in Budget documentation)

 

If you have a child aged 3 or 4 you are entitled to 15 hours a week of free early education and childcare. The Government has now committed to extending this to around 20 per cent of the least advantaged two-year-olds, around 150,000 children from September 2013.

In May 2012 the Government confirmed that two-year-olds who live in households which meet the eligibility criteria for free school meals will be entitled to a free early education place, along with children who are looked after by the state.

From September 2014 the number of two-year-olds who will be entitled to a place will rise to around 40 per cent of two-year-olds. The Government proposes to build on the eligibility criteria for the first phase – so children who meet the free school meals criteria or who are looked after would continue to be eligible – and to extend free places to more low-income families, two-year-olds with special educational needs or disabilities, and those who have left care but are unable to return home.

Ministers will seek the views of the early years sector and voluntary groups, to define disadvantage to ensure the funding is targeted on those children who would benefit the most.

Children’s savings

In November 2011, the Government introduced Junior ISA, a new tax-advantaged savings account for children under the age of 18.

Children who have a Child Trust Fund (CTF) are currently ineligible for Junior ISA, although the Government has ensured that children with CTF accounts are not disadvantaged by increasing the CTF subscription limit to equal the Junior ISA limit (£3,600 in 2012-13 and £3,720 in 2013-14).

The Government wants to support parents by ensuring that there continues to be a clear and simple way to save for all children, and will therefore consult on options for transferring savings held in CTFs into Junior ISA.

What did you make of the Budget? Will you benefit or lose out? Let us know by commenting below. (Please note that any views expressed are those of individuals, not of the NCT).

 

Review: 'Feeding Made Easy' by Gina Ford

by Jo Clover

I’m really quite overweight and when it came time to move on from stage 3 of my daughter’s weaning I had to really think hard about what to do. I am absolutely determined that my daughter will grow up comfortably eating a wide variety of food, that she will spell asparagus (without the spell check as I just did) before Pringles, that she won’t need salt on the table or even biscuits in the tin. But as I said, I’m really quite overweight, I did achieve a size ten, aged 22, but it was more related to cigarettes, alcohol and diminishing student loan than to what I was eating. I thought about asking my sister, who’s my usual encyclopaedia when it comes to all things babyish, but she is also overweight – and, more importantly, so are her children. I’ve talked to my health visitor, nurse and GP who told me about healthy eating (I know the theory), my mother (but she raised me, so ditto sister issues), my (skinny) best friend and my NCT buddies, all totally useless. The problem has been that they assume that I’ve got healthy habits underpinning my unhealthy habits, and I don’t. I’ve never willingly eaten healthily, and I know, I’m absolutely positive, that I’m not the only one.

I needed someone to say: here’s a menu planner, here are the recipes – they’re easy, and here’s a shopping list in order to take the responsibility away from me. I was surprised how few books there were available that were specifically designed for toddlers and families! This one offers all of the above; it also makes suggestions on what to get for children when you’re in a restaurant and what to pack for picnics and long journeys, even on how to handle fussy eaters. If you’re scoffing at this, then stop reading now – you clearly don’t need a menu planner, you’re probably not overweight and don’t have a background of poor eating habits, if you don’t like being told what to do, well, you’re probably not looking for a menu planner anyway! But if you don’t want to pass your bad habits on, if you want your children to have the sort of health (by which of course I mean waistline and self esteem) that you don’t have and that you imagine that slim people do have, then maybe it’s worth thinking about letting someone help you to plan.

The recipes are great – they really are easy to make, Homemade Lamb Burgers, Salmon and Coconut Curry, Moroccan Lamb and, of course, Hearty Bean Soup are among our best loved, not to mention everyone’s favourite Green Monster Pasta. Oaty Breakfast Pancakes make a great snack, and Carrot and Pear Honey Muffins are sweet enough for even my tooth.

We’re now in Week 8 of Gina Ford’s “Feeding Made Easy” (£12.99 Vermilion), I’ve tweaked the menu planners to include Granny’s cottage pie and my own whiney sausages, taken into account that she is at the childminder’s three days a week, that my husband is late home on Fridays, that I have limited access to the kitchen on Tuesdays and have invested in the right sized Tupperware. What I’ve ended up with is a little green folder with the last 8 weeks’ shopping lists, receipts and meal planners with notes I’ve made for the next time; the healthiest diet I’ve ever had and the certainty that I am delivering what I aimed for: a balanced and happy diet for my daughter. I’m sure it’s saving me money too as I really know what I need to buy, and Tesco’s deliver on Monday lunch times while Gwen’s having her nap for just £3 so I don’t get distracted by special offers and can’t forget things.

Now if I could just stop myself from reaching for the crisps between meals.

Independent Midwives – Crisis in Maternity Care

by Emma Ashworth

Last week, we published Emma Ashworth’s birth story. She gave birth at home with an independent midwife. As it will effectively become illegal for independent midwives to practice from September 2013, she is campaigning to save independent midwives.

What are Independent Midwives (IMs)

IMs work outside the NHS, caring for women and their partners throughout pregnancy, birth and the post natal period. Usually IMs support women who are delivering their babies at home, although they will stay with their clients if a hospital transfer is required.

Why are IMs important?

Despite the Government’s targets, it is not common for mothers to see the same midwife throughout her pregnancy, and usually she will have a different midwife (or multiple midwives) for the birth, even if she chooses a home birth. Antenatal appointments may be just 10 minutes long, which does not allow either the midwife or the mother to really discuss any issues or questions properly. IM appointments can be however long the IM and the mother agree – usually an hour or longer – giving plenty of time to really develop a deep relationship between the IM and the parents, as well as to give time to get really in-depth clinical support. The trust that can build up between an IM can make a huge difference to a labouring mother, allowing her to relax better in labour, making it more likely that the mother will experience a safe, positive birth.

During labour a mother will know who will be with her, and her midwife will usually stay with her throughout the labour, giving 1:1 care rather than 1:4 or so in a hospital. That continuity of care is very important to many parents and has been shown to give a better birth outcome.

IMs have skills which in many cases have been lost within the NHS. Many IMs will be skilled in assisting women who are delivering multiples or breech babies (bottom first) vaginally. Because they are able to really get to know each and every pregnant woman that they work with as individuals they are able to really evaluate the risk of anything which deviates from straightforward in a person by person way, rather than solely on the basis of risk across the whole community. Using the relationship then built up with the parents, mutual respect and understanding, a very personal care plan can be implemented giving the best chance of the very best outcome for mother and baby. A healthy mother and baby and a positive, enjoyable and empowering birth experience.

Some women choose IMs because they recognise that they are more likely to have a positive, natural birth. Others choose IMs because they have had a traumatic experience within the NHS (in a previous birth or for other reasons) and they are afraid that their experience may be repeated. There is a serious risk that without the option of IMs, these women will be forced to risk delivering their babies in fear (which is much more likely to lead to problems with the labour), and some women have indicated that they would rather deliver alone, without medical care, than engage with the NHS again.

No IMs = No Choice of care leaving the NHS as the only option for maternity care within the UK, a situation not found in virtually any other area of health care in the UK.

Independent Midwifery is in Crisis!

In September 2013 it will no longer be legal for IMs to practice. For years IMs have had no choice but to practice without insurance. This is because there were not enough IMs in the country for any insurance company to believe it worthwhile to put together a specialist insurance package. Parents have had to accept this situation for the past 10 years, reassured by the statistics showing the excellent outcomes with IMs. Tragically, in September 2013 a European Directive comes into force which makes it illegal for a whole range of practitioners – which just happens to include IMs – to practice without insurance. This essentially makes Independent Midwifery illegal and takes away any choice in maternity care in the UK.

What can be done?

The situation is now desperate because once we get to early 2013 IMs will no longer be able to take on clients if they are due from September onwards. Various supporters of Independent Midwifery including NCT, AIMS (Association for the Improvement in Maternity Services), Independent Midwifery UK and many passionate individuals have been trying to work out solutions, both through legal channels and the Government but the problem has been that not enough parents have been aware of the problem and that’s where we need you.

Could you:

• Write to your MP and MEP stating your concerns and asking them to get involved with finding a solution (see letter template below)

• Contact Independent Midwifery UK to offer any skills or time you may have (http://www.independentmidwives.org.uk/)

• Tell as many people as possible! Spread the word, talk about what’s happening and try to encourage other people to write letters, too

• Check out Facebook Groups like http://www.facebook.com/groups/fightingforims/

We cannot lose our Independent Midwives. We must find a solution, for ourselves, our daughters and our grand daughters we need choice, and most importantly we need those skills that, once lost, can never be recovered.

See: http://www.nct.org.uk/sites/default/files/Independent%20midwives.pdf for the NCT statement on Independent Midwifery

MP Letter Template  

You can find details of your MP here, your MSP here, your AM here or your MLA here. Many MPs, MSPs, AMs and MLAs also have websites which give their contact details including email address. You can also attend a constituency surgery to discuss your concerns with your representative – again their website usually explains how to arrange an appointment. He or she may also be on Twitter (you can check here for MPs and here for MLAs), in which case you can remind them about the fight to save independent midwifery publicly too.

[YOUR ADDRESS]

[DATE]

[NAME OF MP/MSP/AM/MLA]
[House of Commons
London
SW1A 0AA]

[Scottish Parliament
Edinburgh
EH99 1SP]

[The National Assembly for Wales
Cardiff Bay
Cardiff
CF99 1NA]

[Northern Ireland Assembly
Parliament Buildings
Ballymiscaw
Stormont
Belfast
County Down
BT4 3XX]

[By email to [MP’S/MSP’s/AM’s/MLA/s EMAIL ADDRESS]]

Dear [NAME OF MP/MSP/AM/MLA]

INDEPENDENT MIDWIFERY

I am one of your constituents and I am writing to draw your attention to the imminent threat to independent midwifery in the UK. This threat comes against a background of an increasing birth rate and a shortage of midwives within the NHS, leading to a higher demand for independent midwifery services. Currently, women have the option to opt out of the NHS system of maternity care by using an independent midwife. The reasons why women may wish to do this are many and varied but the key benefit to them of using an independent midwife is continuity of care throughout their pregnancy and labour. You can find further information from the professional association for independent midwives, Independent Midwives UK: www.independentmidwives.org.uk. The UK Government heralds independent midwifery care as the gold standard towards which the NHS should strive.

However, by October 2013 it will become illegal for independent midwives to practise as they do now. EU Directive 2011/24 on patients’ rights in cross-border healthcare, once implemented in the UK, will require all healthcare professionals to have professional indemnity insurance or an equivalent guarantee or other scheme to be in place. The legislative proposals for implementation of this Directive have not yet been published for consultation but it is assumed that insurance cover will be made a condition of registration as a midwife with the Nursing and Midwifery Council. In 2002 the last commercial insurer offering insurance to independent midwives withdrew from the market as it was not commercially viable given the small numbers of independent midwives in the UK. As a result professional indemnity insurance is no longer commercially available for self-employed independent midwives. 

The Government in England has worked with Independent Midwives UK to provide a solution whereby independent midwifery-style care can be commissioned into the NHS (through schemes such as Neighbourhood Midwives and One-to-One). It is not yet clear whether all women will be able to access this care or what areas it will cover. Independent Midwives UK has invested a colossal amount of time and energy in looking for a solution and continues to explore options with commercial insurance brokers to make professional indemnity cover available to independent midwives who continue to work entirely outside the NHS, but there is no guarantee that this will be available by October 2013. The situation at the present time is that women will lose the option to have their maternity care with an independent midwife outside the NHS from next year. Many independent midwives will of course lose their employment. [It is not clear what action is being taken by the healthcare administration in [Scotland/Wales/Northern Ireland] and I should be grateful if you would investigate this and report back to me on what is currently being done.]

[ADD A COUPLE OF SENTENCES ABOUT HOW THIS ISSUE AFFECTS YOU PERSONALLY E.G. IM FACED WITH LOSING LIVELIHOOD, USED A IM FOR PREVIOUS BIRTHS, WOULD LIKE TO USE A IM FOR FUTURE BIRTHS, PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE OF POOR CARE OR TRAUMATIC BIRTH]

There is growing support for real choice in maternity care from women and their families, evidenced by campaigns such as Freedom for Birth (www.freedomforbirth.com) and The Birth I Want (www.thebirthiwant.org.uk). The loss of independent midwifery would be a further limitation on a woman’s fundamental human right, recognised at the European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg in the case of Ternovsky vs. Hungary in 2010, to determine the circumstances in which she gives birth.

In its response to the Finlay-Scott Review of the requirement to have insurance or indemnity as a condition of registration, the [Department of Health/Scottish Government/Welsh Assembly Government/Department of Health, Social Services and Public Safety] has pledged to take forward work on a case-by-case basis to facilitate a solution to enable the continued availability of services provided by groups for whom the market does not provide affordable insurance or indemnity. Please would you write to the [Secretary of State for Health, Jeremy Hunt MP/Cabinet Secretary for Health and Wellbeing, Alex Neil MSP/Minister for Health and Social Services, Lesley Griffiths AM][Minister for Health, Social Services and Public Safety, Edwin Poots MLA], asking [him/her] to:

*set up a guarantee or other scheme equivalent to professional indemnity insurance to satisfy the requirements of Directive 2011/24; or

*delay implementation of the professional indemnity insurance requirement under Directive 2011/24, if necessary seeking a derogation from the European Union, to give more time for a solution to be found from the commercial insurance market.

Thank you for your attention to this matter and, I hope, for your support in saving independent midwifery.

Yours sincerely

[NAME]

 

Breastfeeding advice ignored by most mothers

Department of Health Statistics released

Reading the press release, 75% of children had complementary foods introduced into their diets before 6 months of age. The Telegraph chose to confuse introducing formula milk with introducing complementary foods.

Read the full press release here

Extract from Telegraph article below

Mothers are advised by midwives and health visitors to breastfeed exclusively for six months if they can, eschewing mixing in formula milk or starting them on solids until that age. But a survey of the parents of almost 2,700 babies and toddlers across the UK has shown very few indeed adhere to the official guidelines.
It discovered that 96 per cent of parents started weaning their children before six months - meaning that, at the very most, only four per cent breastfed exclusively for that period. Of the three-quarters of mothers who breastfed to some degree, 57 per cent gave up before the baby was three months old, and a further 22 per cent by six months. The report suggests parents are either not aware of the guidelines - or are choosing to ignore them.

The Telegraph 13th March 2013

One in seven women are made redundant after maternity leave

A new poll found that one in seven of the women surveyed had lost their job while on maternity leave; 40% said their jobs had changed by the time they returned, with half reporting a cut in hours or demotion. More than a tenth had been replaced in their jobs by the person who had covered their maternity leave.

It is unlawful to dismiss or otherwise disadvantage an employee for a reason related to her pregnancy or maternity leave. Campaign group Maternity Action provides advice to women and is trying to get the government to monitor unlawful discrimination. Before the recession, the Equal Opportunities Commission estimated that 30,000 women lost their jobs each year as a result of being pregnant, and campaigners believe that figure has risen dramatically.

The Guardian 9th March 2013

Pregnancy permanently alters foot-size

A study of 49 pregnant women found that in 60 to 70 per cent of cases the feet became longer and wider after the first trimester, but had not even begun to shrink five months after giving birth.
The lasting change in foot shape could put mothers at higher risk of arthritis later in life and explain why the condition is more common among women than men, researchers said.
Dr Neil Segal, associate professor of orthopaedics and rehabilitation at the University of Iowa, who led the study, explained: "We know that women, and especially women who have had children, are disproportionately affected by musculoskeletal disorders."

The Telegraph 1st March 2013

Jacob's Birth

by Emma Ashworth

Jacob's birth was planned as a homebirth.  There are many reasons for this; the main one being that I have a wish to be left alone in labour, not to be following a schedule or conveyor belt system, but just to allow my body to labour as and when it wants to.  I know that to be distracted by being talked to, having someone there, I don't know, even bright lights all affect labour and I didn't want that.  My birth plan specified no vaginal examinations because I feel that they have no value in most cases, labour will progress as it does, cervix opening is not linear and the single most painful part of my first baby's birth was vaginal examinations.

I chose to have an independent midwife with Jacob because I wanted to know who I was having as my midwife, and I wanted Philip (my husband) and I to make our own informed decisions rather than follow NHS guidelines which may not be suitable for us as individuals, and in our own personal circumstances.

For three weeks before Jacob's birth I experienced prodromal labour.  This is when labour starts and stops and can be very frustrating.  It was generally going on between about 3am and 7am so I was getting very tired and needed to sleep some afternoons.  I felt very nesty and was doing a lot of housework which is not like me at all!  I had a pool from Birthworks which was heated and filtered, ready to go, so every evening I would get into it and float in front of the TV, which took all the pressure off my pelvis, which was very achy.  That was lovely.

Sometimes the prodromal labour was quite strong and I had to breathe through the contractions.  They were exciting though, and quite bearable really.  Once I thought that we were good to go and called our midwife to say so, but it all stopped again which was a bit frustrating.  We were hoping to have a friend of mine as a birth companion but she lives in Oxford so trying to judge when to call her was also challenging!  I spent as much time as I could listening to my hypnobirthing CD, every day where possible in the last 6 weeks, and trying to enjoy what would be my last pregnancy.

One afternoon I'd taken a nap on the sofa and was just about to get up to go to school to collect my oldest son when my waters broke.  I scooted into the loo and checked that they were clear - they were.  I went to tell my husband (who works from home) that he'd need to go to school, and could he take our toddler, too.  Labour started up pretty quickly and by the time that my husband got home about 45 minutes later I had to really focus on the now intense contractions, breathing through each one and focusing on not tensing up, leaning over my ball.  My husband called the midwife and our friend in Oxford, Philippa, and then he helped me upstairs.  I found a position on the bed which was comfortable enough and felt right, which was on all fours leaning over duvets and pillows, bum in the air in a way that I could move my hips if I needed to.  I needed the light off (that was bliss and I found out later it really helps the hormones to flow), and I listened to the hypnobirthing CD that I knew so well and it helped a great deal.  I also had my TENS machine on and the boost button was great. 

I didn’t try to time contractions but I counted through one (it took a count of 20) and then for each one I counted to 20 knowing that when I got to 20 it would pass.  That was a great focus and helped me to remember that each one was transient.  I did cheat a bit as they got longer and more intense and didn't start counting for the first few moments!

I think I was there for about an hour and my husband was watching me on the baby monitor we have (with video).  I could hear my boys playing downstairs and that was nice.  Suddenly I felt things were really strong and I didn't want to be alone and somehow my husband was there (he told me later I'd been totally still, then I moved and he came to me).  I was sick, which we were prepared for as I'm always sick in labour and I remember thinking it was probably transition.  Then my husband was gone and my midwife, Debs, was there.  I felt she was behind me sitting on the floor (those of you who know Michel Odent will know what I mean when I say she was doing “virtual knitting”!).  After a contraction or two I said, "Debs" and she said "yes".  I told her that this baby was coming and I needed to get downstairs as I really wanted a waterbirth. I was feeling slightly different about the contractions and while I was not yet pushing I knew that the sensations were changing. 

I'm not sure how, but I knew my husband was taking the boys to a neighbour.  Then he was back and I remember summoning all my strength to get downstairs between contractions and we made it and I shouted at them to get my clothes off!  Hub pulled my trousers and knickers off and couldn't get them past my feet because I wouldn't pick them up.  I remember wondering why he was wanting me to pick my feet up!  The lights were down low and that felt so right.

Up to this point I’d been very quiet with each contraction.  I found that my own birthing sounds distracted me, and I lost concentration.  I preferred to breathe through them quietly.  With Toby this had been the same all the way through but at this point with Jacob I started to feel the pushing sensation take over and I got very grunty.  I was worried that my husband would feel that the pain was too much as I’d been silent all through with Toby, so I told him it sounded worse than it was (which it did).  I felt very calm and comfortable; while it did hurt it's a totally different thing to pain when injured and it was ‘Just OK’. 

I remember leaping into the pool as someone very athletic might leap over a 5 bar gate (although apparently my husband’s recollection of it is less elegant!).  I had maybe two contractions in the pool and then I felt his head crowning.  I think I naturally breathed his head out and I remember saying, "baby's head's out" and then his body followed immediately, not in the next contraction which was a surprise!  I reached down and grabbed him, brought him to the surface and just said, "hello baby" a lot! 

After a few minutes I suggested to my husband that we checked out the variety so we took a look - another boy.  I know my midwife was watching carefully for blood loss and it crossed my mind a bit as I'd had a postpartum haemorrhage with Toby, and it was my only fear about this birth, but I trusted Debs and put it out of my mind. 

I felt no pressure, I know I take ages to deliver the placenta so I just relaxed.  The cord was a bit short to comfortably hold him above water so my husband bailed out enough to make it easier to hold him and over the next hour or so he latched on to me and I just relaxed in the pool. 

I was getting some contractions but not many (as is my norm) and after an hour I was getting very uncomfortable holding him out of the water and I felt it was ok to cut the cord which was now very small, thin and white and had clearly passed his blood across.  We called our older son from the neighbour over to cut the cord, which he did, and that was lovely.  I passed Jacob to his daddy and was able to really focus on what were now painful contractions which took some deep concentration and use of the hypno CD. 

In the end it took 1 hour 50 minutes for the placenta to arrive, just 10 minutes less than it took for Jacob to be born after my waters broke.  That was all fine, there was no pressure as there would have been in hospital and I know my midwife was watching me like a hawk so I could relax.  I know I'm very sensitive to oxytocin release stopping after birth which messed up the placenta delivery for my older two, and this time it worked like a dream, just slowly.

The placenta was intact and lovely and I enjoyed watching Debs check it over and she showed me all the different parts, and we took some photos.  Some time later I wanted to get out of the pool, so I did.  Philip phoned Philippa to say that there was no hurry anymore as she’d missed the main event – she had only got as far as Watford!

I didn't dress Jacob for ages, not even in a nappy, I don't think I did until we went to bed that night.  I just laid on the sofa holding him against my breast allowing him to feed when he wanted and just stroking him and smelling him.  He'd not been dried off or cleaned and he had a lot of vernix and I felt that it was important to allow him to keep that smell that he knew and not to bath or rub him down.  He was very calm and lovely and happy.

I had some food and we all just chatted - it was so lovely. Philippa arrived armed with champagne, cakes and some lovely baby vests and got her first cuddle.  Debs cleaned up although there was really no mess at all - and Philip got our children from the neighbour.  Debs cut Jacob’s cord short and sealed it with a tiny Sterifeed cord ring rather than the huge and uncomfortable plastic clips.  Eventually we went up to bed and my family was snuggled up together at about midnight, so utterly different to in hospital where my husband had to leave me, bereft, and go home alone.  I’d hated the post natal ward and to be together with my family was just amazing.

Jacob's birth was an extraordinary experience and I would do it every day. I desperately want to do it again.  I envy anyone who may be able to ;)  However it was seven years in the making and it took two less than perfect births to get there.  I took everything I'd learnt from Peter and Toby's births and added into it seven years of research and, more than anything, a wonderful midwife.

To summarise, things which were most important to me are:

• my independent midwife, Deborah Rhodes
• low lighting
• not being talked to
• no vaginal examinations
• being able to move how I want, when I want
• counting through contractions
• water - with Toby's labour it was amazing.  Jacob's was too fast for it to help the birth but it REALLY helped with the placenta
• TENS
• hynobirthing
• delayed cord clamping and Sterifeed cord ring
• respecting my body's messages to me
• holding my baby.  He wasn't weighed until he was 3 or 4 hours old and he wasn't wiped off, dried or dressed.  No one held him other than me for the first hour which from Jacob’s point of view must have been calming and reassuring.  Wonderful.