Top tips and advice on starting school

by Catherine Hookway, Hillingdon branch and Alison Timson, Stamford, Bourne & Deepings branch

Your child’s first day at school is a major milestone in their lives, and yours, especially if it is your eldest or youngest child. You may feel a sense of loss and be worried that your child will be unhappy, will not make friends, or will not like the learning environment. Similarly, starting any new childcare arrangement marks a big change in your child's life, and it's important to do everything you can to prepare your child. Here are some practical tips to ease the transition for you both.

• In the run-up to the first day, there are a number of steps you can take to get them looking forward positively. Read some positive books about starting school. Libraries have these, but they may be popular at this time of year! You could then play at going to school with puppets or favourite toys.
• Make an effort to talk positively to your child about how exciting it will be to meet other children, to be able to play with all the toys and equipment and to be learning new things. However, do allow your child to tell you any of their fears.
• Visit school lots - walk by and talk about it, talk about the children coming and going, go to open days, taster sessions etc.
• Take a look at where they'll leave their coat and lunchbox and show them the toilets, playground and hall. Talk about each place as you visit it.
•  Find out about the daily routine from the teacher/carer and let your child know what to expect. Knowing what's coming next will help your child make sense of their day. 
•  Shop for uniform early - you're more likely to find things in the right sizes and you'll avoid the crowding of the last week before term starts. Make the shopping trip into a special event for you and your child and emphasise they're choosing their grown-up school clothes.
• In the week before they start school, get your child used to the times they will need to get up in the mornings and go to bed. 

So what do children need to be able to do before they are ready to start school? 

Schools aren’t too worried about whether children know their letters and numbers. That is what they are trained to teach them. Their main concerns are that children have the essential practical and communication skills to enable them to learn. Help them with the following and they’ll have a good basis for any learning. 

• Visit friends with children or invite other children to play. Practise social skills, such as taking turns, following directions and making choices. At home they are dependent, secure and loved; at school they have to be independent and work hard to make others like them and to gain the approval of the teacher.
• Teach simple chores that may be useful at school or nursery, such as packing away toys.
• Make sure your child can go to the toilet, wipe their bottom and wash their hands without help. Make sure the words you use at home when asking for the toilet are phrases the teacher will understand!
• In a noisy classroom, you need to speak up! So help your child become comfortable around adults and not scared to ask for help. When you have visitors, ask your child to greet them and answer their questions. When you go shopping, encourage them to ask for things.

Once they begin school, children need your support. Here are some tips for dealing with those early days:

• Familiar routines are particularly important. Children want to find the house as they left it when they get home. They should also know who'll collect them and when. 
•  A warm welcome home is essential. Give them some undivided attention - sit down together and share a snack and chat about the day. 
• Don’t worry if your child doesn’t tell you anything about their life at school. It doesn’t mean they are unhappy or not settling. They may just be tired.
• Don't be surprised if there's some deterioration in your child's behaviour or a regression to more babyish ways. It's common for children to display negative or defiant behaviour or to have tantrums.  It can be difficult when you miss your child all day to find they behave dreadfully when they get home. Remember, they're tired, need attention and want to reassert some power with you. 
• If your child finds school too tiring, talk to the school about alternative hours. Your child is not legally obliged to receive an education until the term after their fifth birthday. Suggest to the school that your child goes part-time, perhaps finishing at lunchtime. They will not miss out, either socially or academically. 
• Some children have a positive start, then go off the idea once the novelty has worn off and they realise they have to keep going. If this is the case, it shouldn't last for long. 
• Support them in the process of making friends: invite friends home for tea. You will also get to know the parents! 
• Saying goodbye at school may be very emotional for you. Try to send your child off with a smile and a wave along with the reassurance that you'll be there to collect them later. Remember, even distressed children settle very quickly once you're gone, so make your leave loving but brief. If you're particularly worried, phone in later to check your child is ok.
• Your feelings will guide your child's emotions. Be upbeat and positive - don't pass any of your worries to your child. If you approach your child's first day with confidence that they'll be fine, their anxieties will be reduced. Remember, the vast majority of children love school and go on to make the most of their education. 

Tips from a teacher

 

I have now experienced starting 'Big' school as the child, teacher and parent! It apparently took me a while to get used to school, as it does with most children. Parents tend to think that the Reception year is similar to playgroup or nursery but it's actually quite different. There are lots of rules, assemblies, lunchtime in a big hall and older children, to name but a few! For parents, it's upsetting to leave their child crying at the door and trust in adults who they don't know. For teachers, it’s easier if the parent can encourage their child through the door as quickly as possible so that they can calm the child down with the least amount of fuss. More often than not, the child is smiling within a few minutes whilst the parent is in floods of tears in the playground!!

The first few weeks can be quite difficult for some children and for others, they're fine at first but become reluctant when they realise school is everyday. The best thing a parent can do is talk positively about school, the teachers and the activities they will do. I had difficulty getting my son, Joshua, through the door for the first week or so, despite the fact that it was a familiar place to him! He now doesn't want to leave his teacher and move into Year One.

It's basically far harder for the parent than the child! Good luck to all those who have a child starting school; they will soon run in happily and make lots of new friends.

Mrs Porter, Reception Teacher at Pyrford CofE Primary

Do you have any advice for parents whose children are about to start school, or do you have a tale to tell about your child’s first day at school. Let us know by commenting below...

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