Thursday, June 28, 2012

Fussy Eaters - Tips on how to manage

Sarah Hunt
High Wycombe

I have three children.  Ben is 7, Toby 5 and Ellen 2.  When they were being weaned things were different for each of them.  Ben had a mix of homemade food and jars and packets and happily ate most things.  Toby was a very premature baby and had severe reflux.  He ate nothing but stage one jars of smooth tasteless pap for almost two years.  Ellen had a nanny and therefore ate almost exclusively homemade, usually organic, food.

Food has never been a huge issue in our house.  I try very hard to keep them away from junk food, I enjoy cooking and we eat out.  I limit sweets, chocolate, chips, etc. but they do have them. My middle child (ie the one who had the worst possible diet of the three when he was small) now eats virtually everything and has a huge appetite.  He cites spaghetti bolognaise and cabbage as two of his most favourite foods and is easy to feed.  The eldest also eats most things.  He doesn’t have a big appetite but isn’t fussy.  He usually eats less meat and more veg and given the choice would choose chips and chocolate (wouldn’t we all) but again is easy to feed.  Then there’s Ellen……NIGHTMARE CHILD – at least when it comes to food!

Her appetite is barely enough to keep a flea alive.  Some days I have no idea how she has any energy.  Some days she eats quite happily, others she eats nothing.  Today was a good day.  She ate two boiled eggs but refused the toast then changed her mind when we put marmite on it.  She ate a tonne of tinned oranges for tea and a small bit of pizza.  She might eat the bolognaise but not the pasta.  Some days she eats veg, most she doesn’t even touch it.  Do I have any answers?  None!  All I can say is that we don’t worry about it and we don’t make her think it’s a big deal.  I never force her to eat anything.  I allow her to snack but only on fruit and even then she doesn’t eat much.  She’s average weight for her height (she’s generally small but not thin), she has tonnes of energy, she sleeps well and is a happy little soul.  Looking back, my brother was also a terrible eater.  Bizarrely the things she eats mirror the things he ate and, likewise, the things he refused are similar.  Is it genetic to some degree?  I have no idea but the similarities are uncanny.

My advice is not to worry, not to stress and don’t make a big deal of it.  I always give her a small amount of everything.  Most days it goes in the bin, but hey ho!

To help write this article I asked other NCT editors for their thoughts and tips on coping with fussy eaters.  Here are a few of the replies:

1.  Be relaxed and don’t make a big deal out of it.  You can’t force a child to eat (especially not a 4 year old) and there is nothing worse than stressed mealtimes.

2.  Keep it simple: don’t worry about fancy cooking. I am a hopeless cook and, with the best of intentions, I bought lots of toddler cookery books and tried to create wonderful, tasty, healthy meals. I failed (fishcakes sounded good but turned out a hideous greasy mush). I now ignore the books and cook simple meals that I can cope with.  It turns out a roast dinner is not too difficult (as long as you get up early enough to start it off) and my children now eat a huge plate of roast chicken, potatoes and veg every Sunday.  

3.  When you can, eat as a family at the table. The kids eat much better when we all eat together. Both my children improved their eating habits when they started having lunch at their pre-school (it was worth paying for that extra hour) and had friends round for meals. 

4.  Make a list of what they DO eat, rather than what they don’t eat!  My daughter eats very little meat and doesn’t like cheese, yoghurt, milk or eggs.  But she loves fruit and vegetables, so why should I complain!

5.  Stick to what they like. My kids would quite happily eat the same meals every day if it is something they like (in the same way they’ll have the same bedtime story every night for a month).  Although it seems boring to me, I try to stick to their old favourites!

6.  Are they happy? Healthy? Full of energy?  Then they must be getting the nutrition they need!

7. Make up stories around the food. I made a mushroom sauce to go on chicken and didn’t take out the dark brown flecks underneath, so the sauce came out quite grey. My daughter refused to eat it until I told her that it was rat sauce made by the rat in ‘Ratatouille’ and then she wolfed the lot. To get her to eat curry, I made chicken korma and told her it was Primrose chicken (made by Primrose in ‘Fifi and the Flowertots’).
8. Just accept that they’re fussy! My first child is a very fussy eater and my second child is a fantastic eater. I have done nothing differently with them, and I think it's important to point out that sometimes it's not your fault. It's just the way they are. I have tried EVERYTHING (and I mean everything) with my eldest, but he is just plain faddy. I work around it now, and live in hope that when he's older (he is now 5) he will be tempted to try other things. He is perfectly healthy, sleeps well, has loads of energy, but has never knowingly eaten a vegetable!  It is a problem when he goes to parties and on play dates, as he very rarely eats the healthy options on offer but, again, I'm hoping that maybe one day he will want to fit in with his peers. My advice is - don't stress about it. It may be temporary and, as long as they are healthy, it isn't a big deal.

9. Get your child involved in preparing meals
, even if it's just tipping something into a saucepan or stirring. Then make a really big deal about how they helped to make it. We tried a sticker chart but only limited success. I have the opposite problem with my son, 16 months, who is a non-fussy eater and will eat anything he finds on the floor: fluff off the carpet, biscuit crumbs and, in the summer, a dead bug. Nice!

10. Pick up on what makes them happy
- e.g. my son wants to be a footballer and now firmly believes (quite rightly) that eating all of his fruit and vegetables and drinking water will make him stronger and a better player. And always encourage them to try even a small amount - they often find they do like it after all!

11. Take away temptation! The most successful way of getting my son to eat what I want is to leave the house. If we go to the park he will reluctantly eat a banana if he accepts there is nothing better on offer and the food cupboard containing the biscuit tin is over 15 minutes walk away.
Mark, Canterbury

I hope these stories from other parents help you if you have a fussy eater.  The key message seems to be NO STRESS.  Easier said than done…….



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